you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
Randomize