Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Randomize
