I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
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