I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
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