I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
