i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
Randomize
