it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
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