after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
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He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
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Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
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