Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
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