If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
