Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Randomize
