I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
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