nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
