You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
when i woke up i was missing $380 from my bank account
damn...impressive bar tab
no i guess i bought a gasoline powered blender off ebay, i need a breathalyzer for my computer
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Randomize
