So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
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