Pregnant stripper...not hot.
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
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