there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
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