The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
It's blow job season.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
Randomize
