I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
