honey bunches of taint.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
I'm too high and old for this...
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
Randomize
