I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
being pregnant is like rehab
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
Randomize
