the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
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