listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
Randomize
