A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
oh god was she eating orange peels again
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
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