new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
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