i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
the day after is always just damage control
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
Brb crying the tears of my youth
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
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