My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
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Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
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