I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
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