hotel room ftw
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
Randomize
