I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
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