I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
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