Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
Randomize
