I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
