ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
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