So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Randomize
