And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Randomize
