I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
Randomize
