no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
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