dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
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