and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
Randomize
