did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
