whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
I've got a whole match.com system. Triple book. First dates always get the 6pm happy hour drinks slot. 8pm dinner goes to a girl where I think I can close the deal. 10pm slot goes to the sure thing in case of emergency, but 6 can always trump 8 and 8 always trumps 10. Just blame it on a dead iPhone battery.
That, my friend, is how I bang 50 new girls a year. Not luck at all. It's science and statistics.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
Randomize
