I want to stick my p in your. b.
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
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