Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize