I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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