Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
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