Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
Your penis caused this!
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
