Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize