I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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