Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
Funniest shit happened at the grocery store. This kid kept asking his mom for candy over and over and she told him 'daddy said no' and he screamed 'he isn't my dad' so loud everyone in the store was silent it was awesome.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
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