The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship