I CAN MOONWALK!
Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
Randomize