One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
