I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
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