the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
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