forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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