just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
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