the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
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