wat bout pragnant strippers??
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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