Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
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