p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
Randomize
