The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize