you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
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